"Doctor, I don't understand what's happening to me. Sometimes I feel fine and suddenly I become irritable, I cry for no big reason, or I feel as if I'm no longer myself."

This is an experience many women may go through during perimenopause and menopause. And the first thing I would say to a woman is: what you are experiencing should not be minimised. Menopause isn't only the end of menstruation. It is a period of physical, hormonal, emotional and psychological change. Hormonal changes can affect the way we feel, sleep, think and react to stress.

Why does mood change during menopause?

During menopause, and especially during perimenopause (the period before menopause), hormone levels change. These changes can be accompanied by mood swings, irritability, anxiety, sadness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating and sleep problems.

But emotions don't depend on hormones alone. During this period a woman may face many changes at the same time: children may leave home, the couple's relationship may change, and there may be worries about the body, age, work, ageing parents or the future. That is why we won't only look at the question "What is happening with the hormones?", but also: "What is happening with you and with your life?"

"I don't recognise myself any more"

One of the most painful experiences can be the feeling of losing oneself.

Changes in the body, weight gain, hot flushes, insomnia or a lower sex drive can affect self-esteem and body image. Thoughts like these may appear: "My body isn't what it used to be." "I'm getting old." "I don't feel attractive any more." "I don't have the same energy any more."

Women shouldn't simply try to push these thoughts away. On the contrary, they should try to understand them. What are they making you feel? Where do they come from? And how much do they affect the way you see yourself?

In this way, a gentler relationship with yourself and your body can gradually be built.

Menopause and anxiety

Anxiety during menopause can appear in different forms. Some women feel constantly worried. Others become more nervous or find it harder to calm down. Sometimes there may even be a feeling that something bad is going to happen, even when there is no clear reason. What's more, sleep problems can make anxiety and fatigue even harder to cope with.

What can you do to cope better with menopause?

First, try not to fight every change that is happening. Instead, listen to your body. Observe your sleep, mood, anxiety and energy. Also, talk to people you trust and don't keep all your emotions to yourself. In this way, menopause isn't seen only as a period of symptoms. It can also become an opportunity to better understand yourself and your needs.

You don't have to go through it alone

In the end, I want to tell you something important: Menopause is not the loss of the woman you have been. It is a period of change in which you are learning to get to know a new version of yourself. So if lately you feel more irritable, more tired, more sensitive or simply "different", don't judge yourself. You aren't becoming a different person. You are going through a big change and you need to understand yourself with more gentleness. The book "Menopause" by Davina McCall can also help you with this, because it deals with the topic in a direct and understandable way.