When the family grows with the arrival of a new baby at home, parents experience joy and strong emotions. For the older child, this period may bring insecurity, jealousy and confusion.

Many parents focus on getting the room ready, the baby's clothes and practical matters, but forget the most important part: the older child needs emotional preparation. They don't only need to know that a new baby is coming, but to feel sure that their place in the family isn't changing.

The older child isn't afraid of the baby, but of the change

When a new baby arrives in the family, the older child faces a big change in their world. Until now they have been the centre of attention; now they sense that something is changing, even if they can't explain it.

Often, what parents call "jealousy" is actually the child's fear of losing attention, closeness and emotional security. So before asking for good behaviour, give them emotional security.

Talk about the baby before they arrive

One of the best ways to prepare your child for the arrival of a baby is to involve them during the pregnancy. Talk to them about the baby in simple, warm language. Tell them what will happen, how the routine will change and what it means to become a big sister or brother.

Use gentle sentences like:
"The baby will be tiny and will need lots of care, but you are very important to us too."

This helps the child understand that the baby's arrival at home doesn't mean losing their place in the family.

Don't ask them to "grow up" straight away

A common mistake parents make after the baby arrives is asking the other child to behave "like a grown-up". Suddenly they are told to wait, to understand, not to cry, not to be jealous.

But they are still a child. They too need hugs, attention and security. When the family grows, the child doesn't need to become strong — they need to feel safe.

Give them a role, but not a burden

Involve them gently. Ask for small bits of help: bringing a nappy, choosing an outfit, singing to the baby. This makes them feel part of the change.

But be careful: don't load them with responsibilities that aren't theirs. The child shouldn't become a "parent's helper", but should still feel like a child.

Keep your bond with them

Even 10 minutes alone with them can make a big difference. A hug, a chat before bed, a moment alone with Mum or Dad helps them feel that they still have their place.

In the end, the arrival of a new baby isn't only a change for the family — it's a big emotional change for the older child at home. And the way they experience this moment will influence their emotional security, their bond with the baby and their relationship with you.

When the family grows, don't only prepare the house for the baby. Prepare the heart of the child who was there first, too.