"He's become irritable." "She won't study." "He won't come out of his room." "She argues with me about everything." These are sentences parents often say. But we aren't always simply dealing with a difficult teenager. Sometimes, behind what looks like "bad behaviour", there may be anxiety in the teenager. Anxiety in teenagers doesn't always show up as fear and tears. It can show up as irritability, anger, isolation, sleep problems, difficulties at school or physical symptoms.

10 signs of anxiety in teenagers

1. They get irritable over small things

An ordinary request ends in an argument. Irritability in a teenager can be a sign of emotional overload, not simply a lack of manners.

2. They don't want to go to school

Stomach aches before school, nausea, headaches or requests to stay at home may be linked to school anxiety, pressure over grades, bullying or social difficulties.

3. They isolate themselves

Privacy is normal in adolescence. However, if a teenager also withdraws from friends, family and activities they used to enjoy, we should pay attention.

4. They have sleep problems

They may go to sleep very late, wake up during the night or feel constantly tired.

5. They complain of physical discomfort

Stomach aches, headaches, tension, a racing heart and sweating can accompany anxiety. Persistent symptoms should also be assessed by a doctor.

6. They are afraid of making mistakes

Perfectionism can hide fear: "What if I fail?" or "What if I'm not good enough?".

7. They avoid social situations

They don't want to go out or speak in front of the class, or they worry a lot about what others think. These may be signs of social anxiety in teenagers.

8. They constantly seek reassurance

"Are you sure it will go well?", "What if something happens?", "Do you think they're upset with me?". Constantly seeking reassurance can indicate anxiety.

9. They can't concentrate

A parent may interpret it as laziness, but constant thoughts and worries can make it hard to concentrate on schoolwork.

10. They have emotional outbursts

Behind the anger there may be a teenager who doesn't yet know how to say: "I'm tense and I can't cope."

10 concrete ways parents can help

1. Don't keep asking "What's wrong with you?"

Tell them: "I've noticed you've been more tense. Whenever you want to talk, I'm here." Then give them space.

2. Listen without immediately giving advice

Put your phone aside and listen for a few minutes without interrupting. Sometimes a teenager isn't looking for solutions, but to feel understood.

3. Don't minimise their fear

Don't say: "There's no need to worry." Try: "I understand this is worrying you. What can we do to make it more manageable?"

4. Break problems down into small steps

If they have school anxiety, don't think straight away about the whole semester. Start with today's homework, the next exam or one specific problem.

5. Create a routine

A schedule for sleep, meals, physical activity, school, study and rest brings more predictability to a teenager's day.

6. Don't always let anxiety decide

Avoidance can keep anxiety alive. Help them gradually face the situations that frighten them, without forcing them suddenly.

7. Get them physically active

A walk, cycling, sport or another activity they enjoy can help. A walk together can even create an opportunity to talk.

8. Take care of sleep and phone use

Help them create a calmer routine before bed and limit phone use at night. Sleep and teenagers' mental health are closely linked.

9. Teach them to calm the body

When anxiety rises, suggest they breathe in slowly and breathe out even more slowly. They can also focus on what they see, hear and touch around them to bring themselves back to the present moment.

10. Seek help when anxiety is limiting their life

If anxiety in the teenager persists, worsens or affects school, sleep, eating, friendships and family life, consult a psychologist or mental health professional. In the case of self-harming thoughts or behaviour, seek urgent professional help.

Don't look only at the behaviour

When a teenager shouts, isolates themselves or refuses to go to school, it's easy to focus only on the behaviour. But as a psychologist I would invite you to look at the emotion behind it. Instead of thinking only "My child is behaving badly", ask yourself: "Are they trying to tell me they're not feeling well?" Because sometimes an anxious teenager doesn't know how to say "I need help". They show it through their behaviour. And that is exactly when they most need a parent who doesn't judge them, but listens, guides and tells them: "You don't have to face this alone." Recommended books:

How to Understand and Support Teenagers

The Art of Being a Brilliant Teenager

What Do Teenagers Think?

The Tsunami Age – How to Survive a Pre-Teen Child

Get Out of That Room